https://gvsu.edu/healthwellness/what-is-stress-225.htm
This blog has been neglected over the past few weeks because of... stress. Stressors can amount to anything from the flu, to an demanding manager, to some work deadlines to completing a PhD. The latter being true for me. Juggling family commitments, work, sanity and a writing schedule has proven to take its toll over the past few months.
Yes, I get it. We are all on a journey - a journey you (mostly) choose yourself. The catch however is that you then have to stick with the goals, the learning outcomes, the results, the impression of others... Or is it?
I came across a publication on Issuu called
Hijacked by your Brain (2012, Ford and Wortmann). Wow - huge wake-up call!
How do we stop stress from hijacking our lives? Growing up in South Africa and choosing to move to another country for the safety and future of my family brings the 'hijacking' topic close to home. "Don't wind down your windows, don't stop at the stop sign late at night, keep on driving even if you have to tail-gate the person in front of you..." Does this sound really alien and law-breaking to you? Maybe you've never been forced into a situation where this was paramount to keeping your family safe - maybe you're lucky enough to have grown up in New Zealand...
I have been granted the privilege of being accepted as a citizen of New Zealand. Moving here 13 years ago with two toddlers, four suitcases, a husband and a leap of faith, we arrived in Auckland to be welcomed by cows in meadows next to the runway and many clean streets devoid of rubbish. It was Utopia - not easy, not straight forward, not simple, heart wrenching - but worth it. We weren't refugees, we weren't outcasts (by choice), we didn't look that different - but in our hearts we belonged nowhere.
Stress - was this stressful? Of course it was! Waking up at 2am in the morning with a 21 month old toddler who was suffering from jetlag and wanted some playtime NOW was stressful - especially if you had a 90 minute drive to your job every morning to keep the family going because your husband was not allowed to work yet and you haven't been granted permanent residence status. The kids couldn't go to Kindy because it was costing double the amount for non-residents...
What do you do? The only thing you know how to - you keep on going, love them as much as you can, work as hard as you can... and still feel like a failure at the end of the day as you cry silently into your pillow on your blow-up mattress out of sheer desperation and exhaustion over money issues and fear.
This is not a tear-jerking attempt at drawing out sympathy - simply telling a story that maybe has not been told and won't be told by my kids because they were too young to remember the details.
Returning to stress and how to cope with it... I've reached a point in my life where I've come to the conclusion that the pressure we put on ourselves is not half as much as the stress that others' expectation put on us. Why is this? Is it a personality trait? Do we all have a narcissist trait that considers this the 'done way'?
You know what? The answer is a big fat NO! We are who we are... we do what we can... all life is inherently good... so? What do we do with this monster called stress?
We listen - we acknowledge - we adapt - we start to be mindful and live in the moment - enjoy the small things - and then - poof!
I think stress will never go away in this century, maybe not even in the next two centuries, but the secret is in greeting the devil when you meet him (it).
Deal with it, react to it, cope with it and share it - isn't that what 21st century learning is all about after all... dealing with stress? Hopefully the environment we are creating for today's learners preparing for tomorrow's jobs is less stressful than the space we create in our own heads, fumed by stress and unrealistic expectations of a results-driven society?
Face the dragon, slay it, conquer it, coax it into submission - but manage your stress and teach your students to be resilient in dealing with the stress in their lives too. Instant gratification? Maybe not, but at least you would feel like a hero when you can say: "I've retrained my brain, I'm dealing with it, bring on the stress because it empowers me to reach new heights!"
